Wednesday, December 07, 2011
He used to interpret my dreams and send me songs that I was afraid to analyze.
They always pointed to the same thing.
It doesn't mean anything now, but it's a good memory.
Posted at 10:28 pm by driftingaway
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Saturday, August 13, 2011
I was in Minnesota for three months doing an internship. I also graduated college and got engaged. Now I'm stuck in between worlds, with no job as of yet. Hopefully something will come up soon. I don't know where I will be living in one week.
Posted at 12:13 am by driftingaway
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Thursday, April 21, 2011
Things would be better if you two could be adults and clean up after yourselves. I resent you both for making me live in this mess.
I cannot keep from saying that any longer.
Posted at 09:54 pm by driftingaway
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Wednesday, April 06, 2011
Michelle's Eulogy for Cabot
Dictated by Cabot Roth
June 26th, 2007 1:36am
A fireman, an astronaut, an Alaskan fisherman, a speaker of many languages, a mountain climber, and a lover of furry woodland creatures. Of all the previously stated things, Cabot was only one, and it was definitely not the astronaut, though it would have been very cool if he had been an astronaut...
Posted at 09:28 pm by driftingaway
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Thursday, March 03, 2011
I do want to cry sometimes.
Posted at 08:33 pm by driftingaway
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Thursday, February 24, 2011
My computer works again, so there's a chance at updating this. I'm starting to fear that one day this website will go down and this blog will disappear and I'll lose everything, so I'm going to start saving it all soon.
Just so you know.
Posted at 12:31 pm by driftingaway
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I'm applying to zoos and sanctuaries at the moment. I have had two phone interviews with one, and no feedback from the others. We'll see how that goes. I graduate in May and then I'll head off to wherever I (hopefully) have a job/internship. My goal is to not lose money, so a job would be great, but an internship with free housing provided will also do. Also, I just got an email with an opportunity to be an extra in a George Clooney movie. Weird. But I have no classes on the day they want us and it's a big drinking day at our school (Green Beer Day) and I'll be one of the few sober people on campus. So...yay? I need to google image search George Clooney so I know what he looks like... OH. That guy. Got it. This opportunity is so wasted on me. I'll just be like la ti da being in a movie and everyone else will be like, "ZOMG GEORGE CLOONEY" and I'll be like, "Which one is he again?" and then George Clooney and I will hang out because I treated him like just a normal guy. That's how the movie business and stardom goes, right? Also, you should know that this opportunity was given to the band. So you should join band. It substantially increases your opportunities to be on television and in movies. And that's true. A lot of movies require band members- think sports movies, American Pie, Drumline, any movie making fun of a tuba player... There are a lot of opportunities out there for us.
Posted at 12:25 pm by driftingaway
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Saturday, September 04, 2010
I do not drink because my self destructive tendencies exist. It would become a new medium of ruin. I had not pieced it together before, but this is why I am afraid of alcohol. I know what would happen.
Posted at 02:23 pm by driftingaway
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Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Life is crazy. I don't want to be back at school after working in a zoo all summer. Hopefully they will rehire me in the spring and I can work there again to get my zookeeping start, at least. With that in mind, I am going to email Johnny some pictures from the conference icebreaker.
I have been...not a way I want to be lately. I have been getting easily frustrated and tired. Usually it takes a long time for things to wear me down, but not recently. I want to be impenetrable again, but that means shutting down. That means shutting everyone out again. And in leaning toward wanting to stop feeling everything, I'm leaning toward eating disorder behaviors again. It isn't good, especially since part of me wants to be hurting like that again. I feel bad for being healthy. I feel like I don't deserve to be.
Also, I just found out that Katie is married to that boy from Australia and that is crazy. I wish we had stayed friends.
Posted at 07:47 pm by driftingaway
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Monday, July 26, 2010
Monday, July 20, 2009
I really couldn't let this blog go a full year without an update, so here it is:
I'm 20 now, just celebrated a birthday.Too young to drink, but I do
anyway. And I smoke. Way too much. I am ashamed. I am still in my
undergrad, but will be out soon. I see by my last few entries that I
once had a clear idea of what to do with my life. It's kind of funny how
something so clear from a distance can seem so obscure up close.
Sometimes I get tired of life, but curiosity keeps me going.
It
appears I was in love the last time I blogged. I am not now, and I find
that old version of myself beautifully disgusting. It makes me hate that
version of myself, which makes me feel like the wretch I am, which
makes me hate it even more. That relationship started a bad trend. I
dated Bunny Codys, I dated the women no one wanted to date, the kind of
women people take for granted. And they were wonderful. And they made me
feel wonderful. And after a week it would be terrible, and it was
because I was a wretch and they were damaged goods. My last few
relationships have gotten ever shorter, and have all met torrid ends.
The last one left me for her old boyfriend, who is married. A tempest in
a teapot.
But I saw you the other day, Squash. I had forgotten
that I loved you, and that you loved me. I had almost forgotten you
entirely, almost. And then poof! You're back. And I instantly felt my
soul warming, a feeling I haven't had in a long while. And you keep
trying to dislike yourself, which is an insult to me, because I like you
so much and you can't convince me otherwise, no matter what. You're my
favorite person. You make me want to be more like you, and at the same
time make me comfortable with being me. If ever you think you are
without power, know that you still have that power over me. I thought
you didn't, but you reminded me.
I think that's all I wanted to say to you the other day, and just couldn't because I just can't talk.
And one more thing; I still love you, and I think I always will. You're my best friend.
Posted at 01:39 am by listener
Posted at 09:54 pm by driftingaway
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